Five tips for engaged couples

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” The world will always welcome lovers”, or so the song goes, but grumpy stressed ones are a tall order for any world to handle. How do you keep sane and enjoy planning your wedding?

1.   Enjoy the moment

This is good advice for anyone, don’t get so caught up in wanting the wedding day to arrive that you forget to enjoy that you are a couple in love.   Sometimes it can feel like all that you talk about are wedding plans. How about scheduling in some date nights each month where talk of weddings is off limits for at least an hour or so?

2.   Establish your budget

Do you want to save over a period of time for the wedding or are you looking for a budget wedding option?  Can you sit and frankly discuss finances with your partner?  Are you going to borrow money and if so will this put you in debt that might put a strain on you both in the lead up to and the start of married life?   Establish what you can AFFORD and try not to go over this budget.

3.  Establish your wedding priorities

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Both of you can make a list of up to five things in priority order that are most important to you for the wedding.   For example your list might look something like this:

Venue – must be the church that my grandparents married in

Guests – must invite my auntie Betty who is 92

Photographer – mr ace sure shot weddings and videos by moving pictures weddings

Theme – 1920s Art Deco

Briidesmaids – all 20 of my friends

Now compare this list with your partners and look back at number 2, your budget.

Are the same things important to you? What can you agree on and what can you make compromises on?

At the end of this process you should be aware of and have agreed what is important to each of you, along with a way to try and accommodate this.  In the list above it may be, for example , that you decide that the wedding venue is important but that some of those bridesmaids will have to go In order to save money for the venue and the photographer.

4.  Agree responsibilities

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Does one partner prefer to let the other take over the planning, is it a joint responsibility, or would it be preferable to have a planner for some of the elements?  What are your strengths and weaknesses?  Do you like organising things or does it cause stress or friction?  Do you love the idea of a handmade wedding?  Have you thought about how you will find the time to make things, plan, hunt down venues and suppliers and still manage the day job? If you have a date for the wedding, can you start to pencil in some slots in your calendar to do these things?

5.  Accept that there will be some disagreements

It is meant to be a happy time, there will be some tensions and disagreements, that’s ok as you are working through how you deal with conflict.    Stick to your principles but remember that the wedding is one day in your life together (o.k it is an important day), it will fly by so make the most of your planning and date nights on the way.

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